My son and 5 year old grand daughter were here for the weekend. Luke helped me straighten out my yard, hauled blocks and laid them out around flower beds, filled them with dirt and planted things that I had purchased to plant in the yard. He built me a bunny fence around my garden and we looked at the greenhouse that crashed in the last storm to see what it would take to fix. He mowed, and weed wacked and pulled weeds until I am certain he was regretting his offer to come and help. Still recovering from the mastectomy (both breasts) did not allow me to help much. I hate not being able to get out there and work as hard as usual. I DO NOT like to watch weeds grow! That’s another thing I have learned. Its hard for me to allow myself time to sit, heal, and rest. So far my list of lessons I am learning includes:
- I am learning I don’t like being a patient on the receiving end of medical care. So, I am learning humility I guess and patience.
- I don’t like NOT DOING. It literally makes me crazy. So, I am learning to treat myself more gently and watch the weeds grow.
- Learning to budget to a decreased financial stream–so far I’m not doing a very good job at that. Ugh.
- Family is everything. Help has saved me. I’m an independent woman and its hard to ask for help and to accept it.
Went to see the surgeon today for a follow-up…drains are still in as they are putting up too much output. These crazy drains (one coming out of each boob area) are uncomfortable. They rub in there and pull on the sutures and generally burn some. I guess the drains are the length of the incisions about 6 inches. I have already been warned to take two Percocet before I have them removed and take along a chunk of rawhide to bite down on when they are pulled. Maybe next week. Monday is the day for an echocardiogram and the way my chest feels right now, that isn’t going to be friendly either. But the chemo upcoming is cardio-toxic and so they need to know how well my heart is functioning……..After two marriages and the crap associated with those, I can tell you it is a WARRIOR. On May 2 see the oncologist and set the date for chemo to start in three week cycles. Another thing I am not thrilled about, but it must be done. I want to live and in fact, I am going to live.
Forgot to tell you–my breast cancer is a stage 1b/2a HER 2+, Estrogen +, Progesterone +. The lump was 2.2cm x1.8cm x1.7 cm and grade 3. One lymph node in the breast itself was positive but the sentinel node was negative. (This damn tumor was trying really hard to spread.) There are no good studies centered around that scenario so we are opting to not do an axillary node resection or radiation and just go forward with chemo. There were many pre-cancerous sites in both breasts so I am glad I decided to chop those babies off. Don’t need them anymore. Oncologist said a year of chemo. Not friendly at all.
Pieces of Joy 